Who Takes Care of the Caregiver Blog 8

Who takes care of the caregiver when the caregiver is sick?  I always find this an added twist to the female condition.  I found it out and was not surprised when I got a terrible flu a week or so ago.  I have made it a habit since my surgery to be more cognizant of getting my yearly flu shot.  But, that shot only guards against respiratory strains ( at least that is what I am told by the nurses at my doctor's office.)  So, getting the stomach flu was another type of illness and one that came at the worst of all times. 

This year, my Green ABC's for Kids won an Innovator of the Year Award from an area publication and my son and were supposed to attend a recognition luncheon honoring our work.  Of course, the flu had hit me the day before and I was in  no condition to attend.

I let my son know, however, and my daughter went along with him.  She also brought me over lots of Gatorade, applesauce, crackers, etc. to nurse me back to health.  As she always has whenever I am ill.

Last weekend I went up to the lake to visit my almost 80 year old mother who is still in mourning over the loss of my father three years ago.  She is very upset right now because of the high payments she has to make for long term nursing home care and is thinking about not making the payments.  She laments about how dad had someone to take care of him and she won't have that.  Of course, I know I will help her. 

I also know that men help too in these situations.  But, all in all, when it comes down to it, women are the ones who step up and into it, when the time comes for caregiving- with no compensations, just the good knowledge that they have done their duty- for free. 

Woman's Work is Never Done - Blog 6

Women's work is never done.  I have noticed this old quote popping up periodically in the readings for this class.  And, it is so true.  I believe that women are the great caregivers of this world.  Men would like us to believe we are 'better" at this caregiving thing.  But, really we have just had much, much more practice.  We carry this burden and rarely ask for help and then wonder why we are so tired all the time, or suffer from more depression than men.

I read once that depression is really anger turned inward and that is why I believe so many women are depressed.  No matter how high we get our serotonin levels we will always have dishes to get washed, laundry to do, and beds to make.  Or, as the book said, we will have to find some other poor woman to do it. 

Strong at the Broken Places- Blog 5

Reading the essays about family were a difficult task for me because I cannot say I have ever really felt happiness in my family of origin.  I can say that I have had a great deal of happiness in my later years with my own kids, and- most especially my grandsons.

This class and its readings puts a lot on the table that helps to clarify why you did what, and how it all happened.  And, the historical perspective is helpful, as well.  There is a lot of differences in how women are raised now and how they were raised when I was just a sprout! ;-)

For that, I am happy- I would want no girl child to be brought up the way I was- but at the same time- it made me strong- damaged, broken, - but still strong, persistent, and always sure that ' in the midst of winter, I found within me, an endless summer" Camus

Blog 4 - Going to the Doctor When Female

I have always noticed that when I visit doctors I go into 'pleasing person' mode.  Meaning, I often smile and laugh- act as if all is fine.  So, in many ways, perhaps I cannot blame the doctors for their misdiagnosis.  I also know that brain tumors are often not diagnosed for long periods of time.  Especially slow growing ones.

However, I also know that the symptoms that I presented with were not consistent with a mental illness.  Losing my balance, buzzing in my ears, loss of memory in my early fifites- not mental illness.  And even if it had been, there were no tests set up by my primary doctor to see if there was any physical causes for my problems.

Only the Redi-Med doctor set up an MRI, and she didn't take the time to read it- or perhaps she sent it to my primary.  I don't know what happened at that time.  Because I was soon sent to a heart doc who said he thought I 'might' have had a mini-stroke. 

I often wonder what my life would have been like if this great big tumor had been removed 7 years ago.

Today, my memory is as sharp as it was prior to this 7 year timeline, I am healthy as any woman can be at 57, and my vision is good.  There was a lot of concern at the time of diagnosis if I would have any vision problems after the surgery because of the location of the tumor.  For the first year or so I did have blurring which has receded over time.  I still have partial onset seizures when under extreme stress- and am on seizure meds for that.  On the whole, I am not doing too bad.  And, for that, I am glad.

Nothing to be "Out" About - Blog 3

When I was reading the essays on sexuality for this particular part of the course, I almost felt as though I had been lifted up and taken back in time - to a place where I was the only person who felt the way I did, the only person who saw the world the way I did- and then I read a book and my whole world changed.

Reading the " Woman's Room" by Marilyn French in the seventies was enlightening but this class is clarifying for me how far women have come.  I was almost afraid to write my response, but then I began and the words flew from fingers to keys- liberation, flight, at last.

Then I read the response to my response and was thrilled that the other women were not reviled but supportive and in many cases of like mind.  Is this because it is a woman's studies class or because of the times we live in- or the general age of the generation in the class.  I am not certain.  All I do know is that it was like a jump in a wonderful cool lake on a hot Sunday- and I loved it!

Gender Ranking

I enjoy arguing ( debating? ) with my son about gender roles because he always tries to back up his assertions with some sort of foundation.  The fact that I normally do not agree  with his foundation or examples makes very little difference.

As a single mother, it has been a source of amazement to me that my son seems to be so positive about roles.  He is often in disbelief that women of his generation ( he is 33) don't want to just stay home, take care of babies and circle around the man in their lives.   How could he think that after having a mother like me?

I think his years in the service ( 13) might have something to do with it. But, unlike some, I often really do wonder if the way men think is the nature of the beast ( biological, not ingrained by culture).

Service Unavailable

Did I miss an announcement of some sort with Blackboard.  Been trying to get there all Sunday morning to submit my Reading Response 3 and am continuing to get Service Unavailable messages?

Help Wanted- Female

I am enjoying this women's studies class because I am able to see how much has changed in my lifetime and how much there is still left to do!

In my last reading response I commented upon the practice in the seventies and before to divide the job classified ads into Help Wanted Male and Help Wanted Female

.  I told about a conversation I had with my daughter relating this fact and her astonishment at the practice.
Then one of my classmates read my paper, and said she couldn't believe it either.

What I think is telling about this practice, for me personally, was that I didn't really think anything of it.  This was just the way things were done, so we accepted it, just like a good girl! ;-)

Is the Second Wave and the Third Wave Generational? _ Like Everything Else?

I found it illuminating to read the responses of my fellow classmates in my Women's Studies course, who are ( on the whole) of the so-called Third Wave.

As is generally the case when discussing 'how things were' those members of a younger generation are always simply amazed by all that we, who went before them, went through.  Their lack of historical perspective is never a surprise to me.  In any arena!But, I am always uplifted by their open attitude to finding out about the world as it used to be.

One of my younger classmates stated that she was sickened by the horrible sexist and racist comments that were made during the last election by her male relatives.  Unfortunately, in many cases, things have just not changed.

Ignorance is a stubborn thing.

Blog 1 - Test

Since this is the test post for this class, I thought I would give a little insight as to why I chose " Hear Me Roar" as the title of my blog.  I also think the following will tie into the readings this week.

I was in my early twenties in the 1970's when the second wave of feminism really took hold here in the midwest.  Actually, here in the midwest and especially in Fort Wayne, there was hardly a ripple, except for some progressive minded women.  Many of the women in this city  heard the song' I am Woman" by Helen Reddy- but were quick to point out to any man who would listen that they did not believe in 'women's lib' as it was called then. 

As a female in this part of the country at that time you would have been an undesirable future wife if you admitted to having any of these 'equal rights' thoughts.